There aren’t any new things available for ordering on the new McDonald’s menu hacks. Instead, they are licences for you to become the fast-food Ozymandias, erecting monuments to hedonism made of meat and carbs. You literally just slammed three cheap sandwiches together because tourists from a distant nation called TikTok said it was nice, so look, ye mighty, and lament as these creations crumble in your hands.
To be clear, if you attempt to order these items off the menu, you receive nothing special. All that will happen if you order a Surf + Turf is that you will receive a Double Cheeseburger and a Filet-o-Fish from the staff. It’s up to you to construct it yourself while avoiding putting tartar sauce on your underwear while constructing McFrakenstein’s monster using hamburger patty transplants.
You’ll have a few extra buns lying around. What you intended to do with them isn’t quite apparent. I suppose I could just stare aimlessly out the window while eating the bottom of a Filet-o-Fish with a piece of half-shorn cheese on it. Yes, it is obvious that this is what the cool kids of day are doing.
Menu Piracy at Mc Donald’s
McDonald’s essentially created a menu with a road map to mimic certain famous “hacks” in order to capitalise on the current craze of combining menu items. For some reason, half of them involve the fast food equivalent of “Grey’s Anatomy,” the Filet-o-Fish. For a while, it was fairly well-liked, and occasionally you see it and wonder, “Huh, they’re still making that?” (Grey’s Anatomy is presently on hiatus after Season 18, which has already been renewed for Season 19.)
The New Menu’s Four Hacks Are Listed Below:
- Hash Brown McMuffin – Sausage McMuffin with Egg + Hash Brown (only available at breakfast)
- Crunchy Double – Double Cheeseburger + 6-piece Chicken McNuggets + BBQ Sauce Packet
- Surf + Turf – Double Cheeseburger + Filet-o-Fish
- Land, Air and Sea Sandwich – Big Mac + Filet-o-Fish + McChicken
Sure, it’s all just reallocating the same ingredients in different ways. But that’s basically been Taco Bell’s entire business model for decades. Might as well try it out.
So What Do They Taste Like?
Hash Brown Mc Muffin
(For construction: sandwich a hash brown between an egg and the top bun.)
The “hack” that makes the most sense and adheres to a unifying concept is this one. It actually adds something to improve the original dishes and really hits the breakfast vibe (besides making it bigger).
The hash brown gives the dish some excellent crunch but also a tonne of starch. This would not be a block of drab beige without the addition of some ketchup or hot sauce.
Even so, it triggers all the expected pings of a breakfast, popping off at various places. The egg gets a little lost among the breakfast meat vibes, the crispy potato thing, the cheese, and so on. However, the egg’s protein helps tie everything together.
I would eat this again. Although the hashbrowns make it a little heavier, the crisp and savoury potato flavours are a welcome complement.
(To assemble, place the bottom bun on top of four Chicken McNuggets and cover with BBQ sauce. Put the remaining burger on top, followed by the patties.)
Though it would be excessive, you could theoretically put all six McNuggets on this sandwich. I like four.
This hack entails giving the burger a crunchy component, much like the Hash Brown McMuffin, which does make the texture more interesting. It’s amazing to see how the chicken and beef interact. The two types of meat combine to provide a generally excellent protein pair, flashing back and forth between the ketchup and BBQ sauce.
The Rodeo Burger from Burger King comes to mind, but with McNuggets in place of the onion rings. That’s advantageous. Both have decent flavours. You also receive two leftover McNuggets with this.
Surf + Turf
(Building advice: Split the Double Cheeseburger in half, leaving the patties intact. Remove the top bun from the Filet-o-Fish and place the remaining portion on top of the Double Cheeseburger that has been split in half. Top off with the remaining half.) There is a tonne of bread here, and that doesn’t even include the half-bun I still have sitting around.
At this point in the building process, things start to get bizarre, as we smash sandwiches together and really test our sanity. This dish’s unique combination of ketchup and tartar sauce is essential to preventing it from becoming a completely dry-bready disaster. There is a lot of fish flavour present. The burgers mostly get lost in the mix, but they do occasionally stand out.
Although the amount of bread seems overwhelming, it really makes the dish soft and chewy, allowing the flavours to meld. I appreciated the bread a lot more after letting go of my prejudices and accepting the bread.
Regarding the choice to serve the filet-o-fish, I’m still undecided. Although not overpowering, the fishy flavour is undoubtedly present. Other than the option to call it “Surf + Turf,” I wonder why the Filet was chosen over a McChicken.
Land, Air, and Sea
Remove the two buns from the Filet-o-Fish and McChicken, leaving only the burger and sauce. Open the Big Mac by removing the bottom patty. Put a Filet-O-Fish patty in. Reopen Big Mac by removing the top patty. Insert a McDonald’s patty.)
What Just Did I Eat? A Wall of Flavours that Are All Screaming at You.
It’s like putting your face five inches in front of a TV and turning it on when you bite into this sandwich. Your brain is unable to properly process the chaotic overload of sensations that are happening. You don’t eat this as much as you try to use your mouth to carefully demolish it. To take a bite, you basically need to unhinge your jaw.
With all the different meats and lettuce, the sauces work well together, giving off a chicken salad sandwich-like vibe. But this sandwich contains a constantly changing carousel of meats that swap in and out and keep your palate guessing, rather than just chicken. Depending on your point of view, it’s similar to a funhouse of mystery meats that constantly tries to surprise you — or a scary house.
The quality of this sandwich is subpar. Its structural soundness is poor. My burger crumbled as I chewed it, and after a few nibbles, my McChicken patty fled the scene.
Are they any good? Which one is best?
Is the order in which I reviewed them the same? Yes. Am I just now becoming aware of this when I type out the rankings? Yes, again.
The last word
For as silly a campaign as this is, the “hacks menu” is an amusing idea. It celebrates the idea of giving your meal order personality and making something from scratch.
Companies are now beginning to acknowledge that customers are maniacs. It is evident in the marketing. Wendy’s made the smart decision to accept the idea of dipping fries in a Frosty. Some Taco Bell commercials promote sprinkling tortilla chips inside tacos for added crunch.
It’s 2022. No longer are there any rules. Make your own monster sandwich right now. McDonald’s deemed it amusing. I only wish they would stop insisting so hard on having the Filet-o-Fish.
Stay tuned to enviro360 for more infotainment news.